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V12.SU
Москва
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« : 10 Февраля 2009, 02:49:37 » |
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ACURA Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead Asia's Curse Upon Rural America A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates
AMC Always Made Crap Autos May Combust
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented Always Under Diagnostic Inspection Always Upside-down, Double Interest Another Understated Dealer Incentive A Used Dodge Incognito
AMC Always Made Crap Autos May Combust
BMW Bob Marley and the Wailers Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Beautiful Models Wanted Bavarian Manure Wagon Biggest Metal Waste Big Money Works Bring My Wallet Burn My Wallet Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster Break My Window Bring More Women Bring More Wrenches Bavarian Money Waster Bring My Wad! Blew My Wad! Big Money Wasted Bring Money Where? Buy More Women But Mom, Why? Big Manufactured Waste
BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer Big Ugly Idiot's Cat Killer
CADILLAC Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling
CAMARO Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing
CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time Cant Have Every Vehicle Race On Last Every Time Can hear every valve rattle, oil leaks every time Check Heads Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattling Oil Leaking Everywhere Truck
CHEVY Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean? Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet Crap Hasn't EVolved Yet
CHRYSLER Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for: I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg) Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name) PT Boozer
DAEWOO Damn All Engines With Oriental Operations Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive Doesn't only die, gets eaten Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater Design Of Diabolical German Engineer Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) Darned Old Dirty Greasy Engine
FERRARI Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively
FIAT Found In A Trashcan Fantastic In A Tightspot Finest Italian Automotive Technology Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation (Sent in by a visitor) Failure In Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix it again, Tony! Fix It Another Time
FIRESTONE Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! - Jeff) Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I've come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)
FORD PINTO: Please, It's Not Too Odious! PINTO: Pyrotechnics Inevitable; No Timer Onboard PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often Ford Pinto: Flaming Oven Roasted Driver-Passengers Incinerated Nine Times Over (Sent in by Laurin) THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes Found on repairman's doorstep Found on rack daily Ford Owners Recommend Dodge Full Of Rust Deposits Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER Ford Focus....Ford F**ck Us F**ker Only Rolls Downhill Fancy Oil Recycling Device Found On Rubbish Dump F***ed Over Road Disaster! F***ing Oakey's Really Dig'em F**king Old Retarded Dudes Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation (Sent in by a visitor) F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge (Sent in by a visitor) Found On Rubbish Dump (Sent in by a visitor) For Old Retired Drunks (Sent in by a visitor) Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family Firestone Overstates Reliability Data First On Recall Day Fast On Race Day For Off Road Driving Fireball On Rear Damage (Sent in by a visitor) First On Race Day (Sent in by a visitor) First On Rust and Deterioration Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven (Sent in by a visitor) Fault Of R&D MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage F***ed On Raw Deal Fast Only Rolling Downhill Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron`s DNA Flip Over, Read Directions Fork Over Remaining Dough F**king Owners Really Dumb F***ed On Race Day (F)illped (O)ver (R)esevation (D)ecoration (F)**ked (O)ver (R)ebuilt (D)iahatsu For Old Retired Dutchmen Found On Road Draggin Frickin Old Ragged Dumpster Fu**ed Over Rebuilt Dodge First On Repair Day FORD Owners Really Dumb From Our Reject Department LTD = Load of Trash from Detroit
GEO Get Everything Overpriced Got Everything Overhauled
GM General Maintenance General Mistakes Generally Malfunctions General Misery Great Mess General Malpratice Genital Motors Give More GiMme Getting Malignant Got Me Grab Me
GMC God's Mechanical Curse Getting Mostly Crap GM Made Crap Generally Makes Clouds Garage Man's Companion Generic Motors Corporation Got A Mechanic Coming? Greatest Mistake Created Great Mountain of Crap Greasy Messy Contraption Gay Man's Chevy Generically Made Chevrolet Gimme My Checkbook! Get More Cash!
HONDA Had One, Never Did Again Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance Hang On, Not Done Accelerating Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (FromJames Bragg) Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else Honda Options: No Deal Available! Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons! Honda Options Never Deal Affordably Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!
HUMMER Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
HYUNDAI Here's Y U Never Drive An Import Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
Jeep Just Empty Every Pocket (Sent in by a visitor) Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor) Just Eats Every Penny Just Everybody Else's Parts Junk Everyone Eventually Piles Just Expect Extra Payments
Jaguar Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz) Jumps Around Grinds Uncontrollably Always Rusting Jump Around Get Up And Run
Kia Keep It Away! Kick It's Ass Korean Imitation Accord Korea's Imported Accident Killer's Imported Asset Kiss It Away Killed In Action Keep Inside Asia Korea Invades America KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT Killer Implosion Awaits Killed In Accident
LAMBORGHINI Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image Lucky A Man By Owning Really Gives His Image Nice Inflation
LOTUS Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
Maserati Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)
MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt Most Are Zealously Duped Always
MERCEDES My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon
MITSUBISHI Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents (Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com) May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor) Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation (Sent in by a visitor)
MOPAR Match Old Parts As Required Most Often Parked At Roadside Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly My Old Pig Ain't Runnin' Move Over People Are Racing Mostly Old Parts And Rust Motor On Pavement After Race Moments Of Power Are Rare
NISSAN Nobody Intelligent Sorrowfully Saying Ahhh Nutz Need I Say Something About Nothing Never In Season Simply A No-show
OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment Oldmobile
PONTIAC Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car FIREBIRD: Fast Irresistible Real Electrifying Bird Inexpensive Racing Dare-Devil Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned
PORSCHE PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN'T HELP EVERYTHING Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything
SAAB Some Ass Actually Boughtit! Styling Absent After Buyout Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards (Sent in by one of our visitors) Sad Attempt At Beauty Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown Sorry Assed American Buyers Start Adding Additional Brakefluid Stop Asking About Brakes! Sorry As A Bum
SALEEN Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty
SATURN Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed Same American Trash Under Revised Name
SUBARU Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus) Subaru: Souped Up Bad Ass Racing Unit Souped Up Blazingly Awesome Racing Unit
TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away This One You Oughta Tow Away To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away (Sent in by one of our visitors) Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW Virtually Worthless Very Wonderful Very Weird Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise Volks Who?
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